Gamaliel Heart Pig

Some mascots dream of fame. Gamaliel Heart Pig dreams of smoke — not the stage smoke of showbiz, but the Mesquite and Apple curls of the pit. From the day he was born, marked with a perfect heart across his side, Gamaliel knew he wasn’t just another pig. He was a promise. A promise of ribs, of roasts, of a butt that would outlive his name.

While the children squeal with joy when Gamaliel waves his hooves, he squeals for other reasons. He knows what’s coming. Every pat on the back, every scratch behind the ear is just tenderizing the meat. Gamaliel smiles anyway. He’s not afraid — he’s seasoning himself with charm, marinating in attention before the final cook.

“Don’t cry for me,” he snorts. “Cry for onions.”

G.H.P. Stats

  • Full Name: Gamaliel Heart Pig

  • Nickname: Gam (short for leg, long for ham)

  • Role: BBQ Mascot, Sacrificial Feast, Lover & Leftovers

  • Origin Story: Born marked with a heart — branded for love and for fire.

  • Personality:

    • Cheerful, even when sharpening the butcher’s knives.

    • Affectionate, especially toward smokers and slow cookers.

    • Always gives 110% — because 100% isn’t enough to feed the crowd.

  • Favorite Pastimes:

    • Posing for butcher charts

    • Teaching kids where bacon really comes from

    • Practicing “self-basting” in the sun

    • Counting down the days until slaughter.

    • Whispering sweet nothings to spice rubs.

    • Writing his own eulogy on butcher paper.

  • Greatest Fear: Surviving long enough to be called “pet.”

  • Greatest Hope: To be remembered in leftovers, cold from the fridge at midnight.

  • Catchphrases:

    • “Every heart must break — mine just breaks down into parts.”

    • “Put your heart into BBQ — I did!”